September 18, 2011

Day 1- Morning Person

Often times I have been asked when do you hear God?   I think about that now as I begin the journey of 90 days with God.  A Journal was a decision I decided to make and after reading a great book The Potluck Club,  I decided that indeed it was going to be time for some great soul searching.  God has challenged me to be more Godly lately to the point where I have been fighting it.  Things are looking up in my world and I know its God working on my heart.  I can feel it but I also know that each day is a journey.   I hope you will join me on this Journey.

Therapy often times is said to be that of which is healing.   Here is my thoughts tHERapy is just that its a HER time or a Me time to heal my heart.  I will be tHERapeutic during this journey as I travel distances.  Clean up the Heart of mine and journey in finding where in life I need to be at.  

I am doing a study this next 90 days for Daily Steps for God's Chicks.  I was given this book in 2007 I promptly tucked it away as I was just too busy for God.  ( How can one be too busy for God?) But i was so as I was unpacking the garage,  ( looking for get this a pair of Blue and Green Scissors I knew I had )  to craft with I found it pulled it out and said Okay God cool I found the book given to me by a great friend from our old church.  Now if I could only remember which friend it was.  ( don't you hate when this happens. ).  I am excited to start this journey and decided that I would do it at night..  I know I know wake up in the morning with God and then your day all day will be filled with his presence.   So I sit here at 10:51pm on Sunday September 18th 2011 pondering do I wait til morning or do I go and do this now.  I am a Night owl. You see my spouse the love of my life "K" works 3rd shift right now well he has for almost 18 of our 21 years of marriage.  It's odd to think that for 18 years we have only really slept together on Weekends and Holiday's sure we take "naps" during the day and such but its weird.. Whoops off the topic of a Nightly Bible study.  So I sit and ponder this and have decided that since my Brain works best at NIGHT which makes no sense to me at all I will indeed make it to where I can start the study so Nightly I will post an update.  WHEW tired of reading yet.  I know its alot but one of the things I have found is I am a talker.  Just ask "C & Z" my two special kids.  

On to the Journey 90 Daily steps for a real Woman or aka a God Chick.  The book is written by Holly wagner and you can find it at go check it out.  

Day 1.......Tell God your Biggest Fear and your Biggest Dream

Wholly cow... lets just jump off the deep end and go explore the depths of my soul right away.  Whew.   Nothing like taking a plunge.  

The Biggest fear for me is rejection.  Wow hard to believe I said that but it is.  Its one of those things that I sit and look back over the years and its Rejection, its the fact that I am so unorganized at times or disfunctional.  I am one that takes on too many tasks because its what I like to do and HATE to say NO.  I know this is a problem always has been but lately I have been really focusing on what I want to do.  Fearing that the Rejection that I feel because I did not say NO is one that is hard to do.  Imagine this.  Imagine that you are sitting in a room full of strangers ( I have done this many times)  and you feel rejection.  you feel like you don't matter.  So what do you do you jump in with both feet to change the world.  WOW. hard to believe that indeed I have done that.  Changed the world  We all have.  Every day we breathe and act and respond we change the outcome of what could of been.  For if we did not do this where would we be today.

The Biggest Dream for me is to Be able to Share what God has done in my life everyday with someone who does not know God.  WOW that is deep but doable.  Not forcefully stand on a street corner and scream from the top of my lungs LOOK at ME and LOOK at what GOD has done, But to stand on the street corner as  an example of who our God is.   think about it.   Do you listen to the people breathing down your neck THIS IS WHAT will happen to you if you DON'T believe or do you listen to the ones who by example follow Christ and accept people for who they are and what they do in their lives.  I choose the later acceptance,  Not rejection but acceptance of who the person is.  Acceptance of individuals either rich or healthy or sick and poor.  God never discriminated.  He loved each of us as we were made as HE made us.  He has never turned his back on anyone to say "whoops sorry" your not good enough.  No he has made it to where each person is just that Forgiven.   He died on the cross for you.  I can't even to begin to imagine the pain that day brought him in our lives.  Having hit my thumb numbers of times with a hammer it is not a pleasant feeling.  I can't imagine him being stoned, then nailed on a cross with DULL rusty nails left to die.   But he is our Father he is the one who forgave us.  

In the book the passage they recite from the Bible is Psalm 5:1-3  O Lord, hear me as I pray; pay attention to my groaning;  listen to my cry for help, my king and my God.  For I will never pray to anyone but you.  Listen to my voice in the morning,  Lord.  Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.   

Thinking about this passage its the Prayer that is our direct link to our father the prayers that we speak each day.  Today's prayers is for him to be my Guide as I journey the next 90 days in his word.  To find the answers to what I need to find for the Journey to be complete.  The Prayer also is for him to hear the words of the prayers of my friends and family and to be with my family thru this Journey.  Allow me to awaken each morning early for time with our father before the day begins.  Allow me to feel his presence each day as I walk and feel him with me.  What a great day it will be when I feel his presence.

I challenge each of you to think about what has been said here. .What is your Fear or Dream?   What do you need prayers for?  Read the Passage.  When you pray do you groan?   or do you ask directly?  

With this I pray for each person who reads this Blog.  I pray that you will indeed feel the presence of our God as you take this journey with me.

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