April 13, 2012

Where has the time gone?

Of course if your a friend of mine of Facebook you know time escapes you.  One day your sitting there and its December 7th and then you turn around and its April 13th.  Wholly cow... I often sit and wonder when Jesus was on earth did his time fly like ours seems to do?  

Looking over the last 4 months lots of excitement happened I had 2 surgeries and I am happy to report I am almost healed.   I attended an awesome Christmas concert by my daughter's choir at Hillsboro High School.  and I watched pain happen in our marriage like none other.   Still healing from this

I guess today I am going to talk about what is on my mind.   and that simply put is trust.  

When growing up I trusted my parents with all of my heart.  Took their hand with out a doubt and followed them because I knew they would keep me safe.  Then as I grew up I let go of the hand.. Still keeping it close but walking along a road taking my own paths.  Growing and falling and being caught and picked back up... However this time being picked up was by my father.  

Looking back over the last few months I fell hard.   I had a person who told me in a conversation that I was Jealous of her relationship with my husband.   Jealous that she worked with him, could spend time with him that I did not get to do.   Pain hit hard.   That pain that rips your heart out of your chest and you see it beating but yet you feel nothing but numb.  

I sat down and cried.  The thought that some one would want to go into your marriage and tear it apart hurts.   I sat and thought about a few sermon's I had heard about Adultery.   the pain that it causes even if NOTHING happened sexually the words that were spoke were painful.   The fact that someone wants to Lust after your spouse hurts.   Sure its nice to think that he still has it .. but he is mine.   So I sat for a few days and brewed and the more I brewed the more it hurt.. Then after brewing I got the message from her who i considered a friend .... It appears you forgot about me.........   my response summarized is I wish I could forget what you said.. I have not .. I wish I could forget that you are and did go after my husband with words I wish you understood that I am hurt and I wish you would just stop and leave me alone.  

But she persisted with repeat calls then started messaging my husband at work about what I did... I did nothing other than be his wife.  I did nothing but stand beside him during this and I did nothing but make him happy.

So today I sit here on Friday the 13th regaining the trust.. I am so thankful that I have the trust in my husband,  the trust in my children and the trust in my family.  I am thankful for true friends who understand who we are who were there when everything happened and continue to be there for us and support us in our decisions to dissolve this relationship.   I am thankful for people who understand that when a man is married or a woman is married they are off limits and I am thankful for the fact that our father allows forgiveness.  

So today as I sit here I think about a card i just made for a friend of mine's neighbor who was recently diagnosed with Cancer for the 2nd time.  I am so thankful for her support of her neighbor and the saying of this simply says never give up....

So I will never give up.. I will never give in and I will never give away the love that I have for my husband, father and family.   So thankful for each of them..

So thankful for each of you my readers and enjoy .....

BTW I am back.. and so thankful for blogging and the relief that it offers.  

This card was made with Tim Holtz Paper , and the stamp is from Unity Stamp Company Stamp of the month.. What an appropriate stamp for this paper.   NEVER give up....  God has this and put it in his hands.    

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