Day 7 - Love this day

Thank God because he's good, because his love never quits.  Tell the world, Israel, "His love never quits."  And you, clan of Aaron, tell the world, "His love never quits."  And you who fear GOD, join in, "His Love NEVER quits."  Psalm 118:1  The Message

Think about it ...   Love the word is so strong so much meaning and to know that ...  God's love never quits is pretty amazing.  I sit here today and ponder about that never ending love.  The love of one spirit loving all of us.  Black, White, Tan, Orange, Blue, Purple, Pink etc.. you get the point no matter who you are tall, short, Skinny or fat.  God Loves you.

This last week a journey has begun in my heart,  No question has ever been raised about God's Love for me. I know it exists,  I am so thankful for that Love that he gives me.  I look back over the week and think God this Journey I am taking is it to draw closer to you?  Is it to show that my spiritual gifts are their for me to recognize?   I was invited to be a part of the Grace House here in Hillsboro.  The Grace house is just that a house of Grace.  Given to people who are "homeless" to live in and be cared for thru our prayers and peace.  The people who stay here typically have just "moved out" of the Homeless shelter and need a transition home,  a normal house with a kitchen, living, dining, and a room to rest in.  The house shelters the residents be it a single family,  a single person a couple, a single dad, a single mom til they can get on their feet.  The residents who live there are blessed to have shelter.  I look back in the times when I was moving around and Shelter was never an issue but could you imagine if you had no roof, no room, no lights, no running water, no heat?  What would you do?  Could you survive? Would you survive?  I think I could, would and should based on the faith that I have in God's never ending Love.

Just take a moment to listen to this song.  The song of Faith for me.. of God's house but also of the Grace House.  

  Regardless of where he is in your life right now be it tucked in your back pocket, living and thriving in your mind or resting in your heart.  God's Love is never ending its is ever faithful and he loves each of us in his own way.  Ask him tonight when you pray.  God was their ever a time when you were not there for me.  And I can imagine he will answer with this....

Footprints

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.

This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.

The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

---

Carolyn Carty, 1963

Look back over your life when things were hard, rough or tough.  When you thought you could never go on and then read this.. God carried you thru this storm and he will carry you thru the next storm.  Imagine if you will a warmth in your heart that is so large that it fills you a radiance that shines for you.  

Now as you listen to this.. Pray to God let your light shine and let it shine bright never let it dull and go forth and spread the word of the gospel and Let God be your light.  His Love is NEVER ending.  

Lord as I close this evening I pray for my friends,  I pray for their light to shine regardless of how dim or bright it may be.  God I ask that you go in and make their light a little brighter by reminding them that your Love is never ending I also thank you for the peace you bring to my family, The peace you bring to my Spouse and the peace you bring to my Brothers and sisters in Christ.  Remember God you are the light in my life and I am so glad the Flame has not been released.  Praises be to you Lord and all of God's people said..... This little light of mine ..  Praises to him.. Amen 

Day 6 -The Missing Times

Wow I missed a day well not really I did the study just did not get a chance to Blog about it so here we go..

Day 6  Bible Reading,  

Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and Useful one way or another - showing us the truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way.  Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks god has for us.  2 Timothy 3:16-17


Ever had a day where the time just flew and you turned around and poof it was the following morning or even better you lost track of 2 days?  

Well I did the study just not with you guys and I apoligize about that.   Today ( being Saturday was a day for scripture reading.  WOW.   How many times with good intentions have you started to open the bible up to read it only to find that sometimes you are just too busy.  Or even better you open the bible to read the story's and you can't understand it.   I use to read King James when I was a kid and those Thou's and Arts, and other words were so confusing.   Til I found the New Internationual Version,  A little simpler english but yet almost the same message.  Then recently I have found The Message version or Good News Bible .. simply put PICTURES and words that are in every day language.  As I sat reading the word the other day I literally popped open the Bible and read,  I sat and pondered,  Does the meaning of what God meant to say get lost in all of the translations?   I bought about 4 years ago a Study Bible simply put their are 4 translations listed.  and then you can choose which way you want to interperet the word of the Lord.   So lets think about it.  

In John 3:16 its a famous verse One that I love. my motto in life,  states this

God gave his one and only son to us, so that those who shall believe in him will not die but  have eternal life.  ( my translation of it)  but lets look at the other translations of this verse :

New International Version (©1984) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. New Living Translation (©2007) "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. English Standard Version (©2001) “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. New American Standard Bible (©1995) "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. International Standard Version (©2008) "For this is how God loved the world: He gave his unique Son so that everyone who believes in him might not be lost but have eternal life. GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995) God loved the world this way: He gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life. King James Bible For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. American King James Version For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. American Standard Version For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life. Bible in Basic English For God had such love for the world that he gave his only Son, so that whoever has faith in him may not come to destruction but have eternal life. Douay-Rheims Bible For God so loved the world, as to give his only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in him, may not perish, but may have life everlasting. Darby Bible Translation For God so loved the world, that he gave his only-begotten Son, that whosoever believes on him may not perish, but have life eternal. English Revised Version For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life. Webster's Bible Translation For God so loved the world, that he gave his only-begotten Son, that whoever believeth in him, should not perish, but have everlasting life. Weymouth New Testament For so greatly did God love the world that He gave His only Son, that every one who trusts in Him may not perish but may have the Life of Ages. World English Bible For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. Young's Literal Translation for God did so love the world, that His Son -- the only begotten -- He gave, that every one who is believing in him may not perish, but may have life age-during. Wow never did I think that so many people believe so many things,  But look at the definitions of the verse.  Makes you wonder what else is lost in Translation.  I do think that that in this verse for example its about the Belief,  The belief that in your heart ( where the treasure is buried)  is a great and everlasting flame that is never extinguished.  Even to this day my family that has passed flames still are ignited in memories.   Think about it.    So as I close it was tasked that we each begin to read the bible ..   Today I will start with the date in the book that is stated..  It suggest reading Luke 1-3. I challenge you to read this and post your comments of what you feel was said.   With that in closing I am now going to pray that my health can allow me to continue this stay and that the daily readings, devotion times and the time spent with God each day fufills me to spread the good news about our Lord.

Day 5 - Midnight snack

He [God] himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you with out support.  [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]  Hebrews 13:5  AMP

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  Hebrews 13:5 NIV 

Wow lets look at this for a moment,   Today I had a friend message me on facebook, *D* D is sad, she feels abandoned by her family, her spouse and her children, she is overwhelmed and heartbroken.  She feels like God has left her.  But yet I read this today in our study and think He has not left you.. he is just waiting for you to open your ears to hear him.

Money is mentioned in the NIV version,  Money is something that drives our economy but just imagine if tomorrow when you woke up it would not be a Paper or coin that told your value but the service and deeds that you do that determine your value.   Imagine that tomorrow when you awaken from your slumber you log into your bank and replaced is an amount of $1,000,000.00 with a note from God saying Thanks for being a good and faithful servant.  What would you do with those funds?  what would you do with that money?  Imagine that it was yours would you Keep it buy a new car, house, furnish your lifestyle go to a remote island in the south pacific drink it away on 50 dollar glasses of pineapple juice?  Or would you invest it in the lives of others, Fund for example Water research in the Sahara desert to ensure the people of Africa can drink the water and be safe?  Build a school or more than one for Women to get an education in Afghanistan and feel the presence of kindness of strangers?  Find a neighbor who is down on their luck and bless them with a gift of a house to live in to keep them warm in the upcoming winter.  Go shopping for a local food bank so much so that you could feed the entire city of Chicago for weeks?  Imagine the impact that would have.

In our Sunday School class we are reading Max Lucado's book Out Live your Life.   K and I are also taking Dave Ramsey's Class to be Debt Free, a concept we only dream of.  but we are getting there.

IN Daves Class he says to Live like no one else so you can LIVE like no one else.   read it again...   Do you hear it.. We are choosing to live like this so that in a few years we can LIVE like we want..   In the book we are studying in class its about Helping others.. Dreams ...  when asked what you would do with a million dollars the thoughts come to mind of orphans in this country who need a MOM and DAD who care for them as their own.  A life that they could never have.  Its pretty amazing to think that a majority of the Foster kids in our own county live right now ... out of a Black Trash Bag because they don't even have a suit case to move from house to house.  But would it not be cool to take the ones that are up for adoption right now that feel like God has abandoned them and give them teh love that they need.   As I sit here today typing this out.. I do think that I will start praying for a journey that God is going to take me on.  It will be interesting to see where we are in 90 days. I pray that God Takes control and blesses us in ways we have no idea.  And I pray that God takes control of your life and blesses you in ways you don't know.

So todays step from the journal part is to:

Write down a time when you know God was there for you.  And then lift your Hands (really)  and thank God that being there is who HE is.  Thank HIM for always being the GOD who is always present.

And be sure of this:  I am with you always, even to the end of age.  Matthew 28:20

God I know you were with me on August 4th 1999 when my life was crashing around me. My marriage was falling apart and you spoke to me that night.  Said leave it all and go to your spouse.   one month later I arrived in Singapore with 2 kids in tow scared, alone and abandoned as every force around me was screaming your making a mistake,  We trusted you sold everything we owned and moved.  We started over fresh with you in our lives.  Prayer became a part of our marriage as well as being 1 instead of 2 people in the relationship.  I am so very thankful that that night in a church in Pineville La at an all night women's bible study you picked me out and spoke so clearly to me.   I am also thankful that at the same time you were doing that you were also speaking and healing my K's heart.  you allowed us to heal our marriage thru you you listened when no one else did and you allowed me to feel your hand guide me in ways no one can describe so God I thank you that you were there for me and I give it all to you .. in praise that you are the powerful God who can heal and mend all.   For you are the God that I know and trust.   with love..   Christy

Day 4 - Worship time Thanks God I needed this

Worship the LORD with Gladness; Come before him with Joyful songs.  Psalm 100:2 NIV

I am so excited about this for a few reasons 

1  I love music 

2 I love music 

3 I love music 

with that being said I turned off all distractions cranked out the CD's from Big Ticket that I got a few years ago and turned them up.  

Worship its a time for you to be with God, for me its a time for me to be with God in a way that only I can describe.  Music lifts the soul,  Songs touch your heart and reach in and release the pain you feel, or strengthen your mind with Gods powerful words.   

Think about it .. if you listen to all types of music what do you hear.. the beat of course but do you listen to the words?   Imagine this.. Modern songs that are on the radio every day that we hear.  

Music its the voice of angels singing.  Songs that touch your soul in depths that are just amazing. Here are a few of my favorite songs.  

  One Republic Good Life.  reason why it touches me.. it talks of the life we have what we feel and what happens when we let go.  Just remember that its the song.. listen to the lyrics ...

Think about it..  Its got to be a good life.. Seriously this is a contemporary song that has feeling,  meaning having been to all of these places and feeling the feeling that he has all i can say is that it is a good life.  Its a life that we all need to have. 

  Then of course the first time I heard this song I broke down in tears and it still takes me there.  Remedy Point HOPE 

 

Read the Lyrics as the song plays feel the power and feel the presence of God.  I know you can feel it.  

Another great song that I listen too is Ayeshia Woods Big Enough  Take a listen to the words and feel it.. God you are BIG enough but I am not ..   I am listening to you and your power..  

Most of all though its all about the heart of life.   to me its one song that can bring me to my knees in a moments time,  Its the song that I most relate to,  A favorite of many but one of my Grandma Karen's favorites so much so that when I hear this in Church, on the radio, in my IPOD, on Pandora, or just anywhere I remember the smell, the touch the feeling that she brought to my life.   She was my rock and pillar of strength when anything collapsed she was my Grandma.  So as you sit and listen to this be thankful for those moments in life that bring back feeling and moments in your life.   Memories that were instilled that bring the part of your heart out of its case.   

The Daily step for today is to stop right now ... out loud ... Thank god for your peace.  Thank him for bringing peace into your marriage, your family, your heart and your mind 

God As I sit here and type out this prayer to you I THANK you for the peace you bring into my heart, life and soul.  I Thank you for the ultimate Sacrifice you paid for me and my sins.  I Thank you for my parents who raised me to believe in the power you are, I thank you for my Grandmother who made me who I am today.  I Thank you for my Husband who was molded in your image and can be the Spouse that is Godly, and honoring of his wife.  I thank you for my Children C & Z who can be your image to their friends.  I thank you for the knowledge you gave me to raise them in a godly home with values and morals.  I thank you for my friends who are there for me when things are going great and when things are going down hill.  I thank you moreso than any for carrying me thru the fires, protecting me thru the storms and loving me as your own child.  I am so thankful for you Lord God.  For you being the one who can make me be a better person.. God Thank you for who you are.   

As I close this today I pray that your life is enriched with just a sampling of songs that make a difference in my life .. their are more than this that bring me close to god and I pray that you can find the one that makes your heart flutter and your breathing to be relaxed as you worship with our God.   Praises to you my friends and all of God's people said AMEN.  

Day 3 - Early Morning Prayer

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful

Prayer,  A simple conversation,  like saying good morning to the person you love,   A simple gesture to acknowledge our Father who art in heaven.  Sometimes prayer is hard to come by other times easy.  Today its pretty simple for me to pray all day all the time. 

 I constantly have been accused of talking to myself , however lately I have been simply responding as its a conversation with my father. A one on one simple sometimes deep conversation with our father. 

Lets ponder this for a moment do you begin your prayers with Our Father who art in heaven, or do you simply say God are you there its me Christy.   Lets think about it,  I remember as a kid reading Are you there God its me Margaret by Judy Blume.  In the book I specifically recall one prayer where she asked God if he was there..

Are you still there God? It's me, Margaret. I know you're there God. I know you wouldn't have missed this for anything! Thank you God. Thanks an awful lot

Silence followed and she pondered is he there. Of course people often ask when you pray do you hear god crystal clear.  Some times I have to say I do.. Crystal clear,  If I am quiet enough to listen to him. 

The key is to remember our God is a God who listens to prayers,  he hears them and then answers them.  Sometimes we are too busy to hear the answers or even worse we want to answer them for God.  Just imagine if we did not take a moment to stop and listen, what would happen?  would we go thru life looking at the world thru goggles?  only seeing what is in front of you or would you go thru life seeing everything around you. 

Prayer is just that its the open vision not blinded vision that allows you to see into God's eyes and hear his voice.  What would you say to him if you could look into his eyes at this very moment and have his undivided attention?   For me it would be Thank you,

 Thank you for the life you have given me.  Thank you for my Seasonal friends, and thank you for my friends who are here with me regardless of where I am in my life today.  Thank you for a Husband who understands that I am not perfect and that I too make mistakes and we are human.  Thank you for two beautiful children who have been honestly the light in my life.  Thank you for making each of them special in your own way and molding them in your hands before I ever got to hear their first breath.  Thank you for wonderful Parents , for raising me with morals and a life that was filled with you in my presence, Thank you for those who helped my journey to you be successful, from the Vacation Bible Schools at Kentwood Baptist Church when I was a preteen to friends that I cherish when I was a teenager who kept me on the right road making wise and good decisions.  Hard to believe how many years ago it was but today it seems like yesterday I was sitting at Trinity Baptist Church in Pineville Lousiana with my parents in the audience and looking over and seeing them see me be baptized in your name God.  You forgave me then for sins I had committed and now forgive me for sins that are still present.  I ask you god during this time to forgive me again for who I am and allow me to be more Christ Like and centered on you and your being.   I ask you to be the one that allows me to mentor and help friends and strangers know the God I know.  The Powerful one, the healer, the father, the comforter, the warrior and the one who cares for me like my own father did in real life. 

The task today was to write 5 things I am thankful for and To thank god for them.  out loud. 

So I sit here and type it out in the early morning hours I figure since I am here I need to tell him what I am thankful for

1.  My Family, K, C and Z,  My Parents T & J and My Inlaws B & S,  My brother J, and Brother in Law KK. 
2.  My Friends,  the ones near and dear to my heart,  The 3rd shift wives club :)  you know who you are, My Mafia,  the ones that cared for me when I was down and the ones who cared for me when i was up the ones who pray for me daily and who know me. 
3.  My Church  I am so thankful for my church the church as a whole who mended me when I was broke,  and who lift me when I am whole.  Who carry me when I am weak and who love me when I am desperate. 
4.  My God I am ever so thankful for the ultimate sacrifice he paid for me to be here today.  The thoughts of him being hung on a cross to die just pains my heart.  but yet every day I see people who believe and can believe openly in other countries treated like he was so many years ago.  I am thankful for the freedom I have where I live to worship the god I have. 
5.  The silent readers I have on here who read the blog to find guidance I pray that the words written reach out to you and can touch you in the way they are touching me. 


With this I close on the 20th of September it's K's 45th birthday and today is a day of celebration.  Another year we are blessed to have him here with us and another year of blessing others during this year.   God is simply amazing when you think about it and I pray that each of you can feel his presence today as I pray for you...

So God Thank YOU for who you are and THANK you for being who you are to me.  My father, warrior, savior, and husband.  The one that I can talk to with confidence and love unconditionally.  God you Reign. 

Day 2 - Brunch - Well do God at Brunch.

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray.  Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.  Before you know it a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.  Its wonderful when what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.   Philippians 4:6-7 The Message 


Daily Step :

 On a sheet of paper, write down something you are worrying about.  Now take that paper and hold it up as if you are offering it to God, and say something like this" I let go of this worry, Father, trusting that You will take care of it"  Now throw that piece of paper in the trash.  And don't take it out!!! You have given your worry to your Father and he is more than capable of handling it.

So now i sit at an empty dining room table I picked up and typed out a page of worry.  God said one word  and I typed a page.

I worry about my son's health all the time ( its an obsession but a necessary obsession,  but I am giving that to God today.)
I worry about the future of my daughter ( she is making decisions now that do affect everything in life.  I am so proud of who she has become but want to protect her. )
I worry about my husband,  ( he is the man of my dreams I worry sometimes that I am not good enough for him,  that I lack that ability anymore to please him in the way he wants to be pleased,  Not sexually but personally sometimes it feels as if we grow apart, but we don't we just grow stronger but its so hard to believe that indeed he will be here forever. )  I think I feel this because in the last year we have lost 4 of our great friends over time to Cancer, Heart Attacks, and unknown causes.  4 friends gone, 4 friends who were our rocks in life.  each was a pebble that was placed in our mind and grew into a rock.
I worry about my friends the ones that I have just made that when they see the true me thru the next 90 days that they will be the true friend I need.   I also want to be that true friend that they need.

 I worry a lot it seems like every day is a worry,  a fear ( whoops we talked of that yesterday)  but maybe its time to let God know that I am just a worrier.   A person who worries and I need to be a person that praises,  A good outer shell that cracks and opens up a wounded heart.  A heart that has been hurt lots of times but different things but God encased the hurt to be dealt with at a later time.   I often wonder at times when people really get to know the REAL me. if they will accept me.  Its weird I was raised in a military family, married a military man, and raised my kids in a military life.  Until we retired in 2006.  However my body does not stop moving.  I constantly seek the where to NEXT GOD?  moments.  Since becoming a Christian I have lived in over 18 different places and that is only over 29 years .... whew..   Lets just say I don't worry about moving. That is one thing I can handle.  But I do worry about staying.

So I guess that is it the Staying part is the part I worry about.  Staying still and listening to what God has planned for me and for us.   Staying still so much that I can hear him speak clearly.  Maybe that is what this journey will do for me allow me to put down the roots of the plant the strong healthy roots and plant a harvest of Wheat and attempt to not be a weed.  ( thanks to our pastor for that thought, I really was listening).  I think about it and each day their are people in your life who are weeds.  Who will cause you to worry about things. My goal is to pull up those weeds in my life and replace them with strong roots and wheat.   A unique analogy seeing as how I now live in John Deer Tractor town :) hehe...

So today as I close.. I am giving God the Worry,  I took a piece of paper and typed it all out the worries.. in small print. I have alot lol...   and crumpled it up and said GOD this one is for you..  Kind of like a toast.   So God this one is for you,  I pray that my friends feel the prayers that are said for them today from health issues to finance issues that they feel the guidance of God.  From relationship issues to the everyday life of getting up out of bed they feel the guidance of God.  I also pray that those of you who stumble upon here can dismiss your worries.. It will be a battle but its one I am longing for.  A Battle that is worth the fight to be a stronger God Chick.  Are you ready for that journey?

Day 1- Morning Person

Often times I have been asked when do you hear God?   I think about that now as I begin the journey of 90 days with God.  A Journal was a decision I decided to make and after reading a great book The Potluck Club,  I decided that indeed it was going to be time for some great soul searching.  God has challenged me to be more Godly lately to the point where I have been fighting it.  Things are looking up in my world and I know its God working on my heart.  I can feel it but I also know that each day is a journey.   I hope you will join me on this Journey.

Therapy often times is said to be that of which is healing.   Here is my thoughts tHERapy is just that its a HER time or a Me time to heal my heart.  I will be tHERapeutic during this journey as I travel distances.  Clean up the Heart of mine and journey in finding where in life I need to be at.  

I am doing a study this next 90 days for Daily Steps for God's Chicks.  I was given this book in 2007 I promptly tucked it away as I was just too busy for God.  ( How can one be too busy for God?) But i was so as I was unpacking the garage,  ( looking for get this a pair of Blue and Green Scissors I knew I had )  to craft with I found it pulled it out and said Okay God cool I found the book given to me by a great friend from our old church.  Now if I could only remember which friend it was.  ( don't you hate when this happens. ).  I am excited to start this journey and decided that I would do it at night..  I know I know wake up in the morning with God and then your day all day will be filled with his presence.   So I sit here at 10:51pm on Sunday September 18th 2011 pondering do I wait til morning or do I go and do this now.  I am a Night owl. You see my spouse the love of my life "K" works 3rd shift right now well he has for almost 18 of our 21 years of marriage.  It's odd to think that for 18 years we have only really slept together on Weekends and Holiday's sure we take "naps" during the day and such but its weird.. Whoops off the topic of a Nightly Bible study.  So I sit and ponder this and have decided that since my Brain works best at NIGHT which makes no sense to me at all I will indeed make it to where I can start the study so Nightly I will post an update.  WHEW tired of reading yet.  I know its alot but one of the things I have found is I am a talker.  Just ask "C & Z" my two special kids.  

On to the Journey 90 Daily steps for a real Woman or aka a God Chick.  The book is written by Holly wagner and you can find it at www.godchicks.com go check it out.  

Day 1.......Tell God your Biggest Fear and your Biggest Dream

Wholly cow... lets just jump off the deep end and go explore the depths of my soul right away.  Whew.   Nothing like taking a plunge.  

The Biggest fear for me is rejection.  Wow hard to believe I said that but it is.  Its one of those things that I sit and look back over the years and its Rejection, its the fact that I am so unorganized at times or disfunctional.  I am one that takes on too many tasks because its what I like to do and HATE to say NO.  I know this is a problem always has been but lately I have been really focusing on what I want to do.  Fearing that the Rejection that I feel because I did not say NO is one that is hard to do.  Imagine this.  Imagine that you are sitting in a room full of strangers ( I have done this many times)  and you feel rejection.  you feel like you don't matter.  So what do you do you jump in with both feet to change the world.  WOW. hard to believe that indeed I have done that.  Changed the world  We all have.  Every day we breathe and act and respond we change the outcome of what could of been.  For if we did not do this where would we be today.

The Biggest Dream for me is to Be able to Share what God has done in my life everyday with someone who does not know God.  WOW that is deep but doable.  Not forcefully stand on a street corner and scream from the top of my lungs LOOK at ME and LOOK at what GOD has done, But to stand on the street corner as  an example of who our God is.   think about it.   Do you listen to the people breathing down your neck THIS IS WHAT will happen to you if you DON'T believe or do you listen to the ones who by example follow Christ and accept people for who they are and what they do in their lives.  I choose the later acceptance,  Not rejection but acceptance of who the person is.  Acceptance of individuals either rich or healthy or sick and poor.  God never discriminated.  He loved each of us as we were made as HE made us.  He has never turned his back on anyone to say "whoops sorry" your not good enough.  No he has made it to where each person is just that Forgiven.   He died on the cross for you.  I can't even to begin to imagine the pain that day brought him in our lives.  Having hit my thumb numbers of times with a hammer it is not a pleasant feeling.  I can't imagine him being stoned, then nailed on a cross with DULL rusty nails left to die.   But he is our Father he is the one who forgave us.  

In the book the passage they recite from the Bible is Psalm 5:1-3  O Lord, hear me as I pray; pay attention to my groaning;  listen to my cry for help, my king and my God.  For I will never pray to anyone but you.  Listen to my voice in the morning,  Lord.  Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.   


Thinking about this passage its the Prayer that is our direct link to our father the prayers that we speak each day.  Today's prayers is for him to be my Guide as I journey the next 90 days in his word.  To find the answers to what I need to find for the Journey to be complete.  The Prayer also is for him to hear the words of the prayers of my friends and family and to be with my family thru this Journey.  Allow me to awaken each morning early for time with our father before the day begins.  Allow me to feel his presence each day as I walk and feel him with me.  What a great day it will be when I feel his presence.

I challenge each of you to think about what has been said here. .What is your Fear or Dream?   What do you need prayers for?  Read the Passage.  When you pray do you groan?   or do you ask directly?  

With this I pray for each person who reads this Blog.  I pray that you will indeed feel the presence of our God as you take this journey with me.